I've been doing weekly posts on my website since I changed over to the new host platform in October, but the eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed that there hasn't been anything for the last few weeks. And that's because my dad died on 12th March. His funeral was on 25th March and the time in-between was a heartbreaking rollercoaster. I've learnt that grief comes in waves and there's a physical hurt attached to it that I wasn't previously aware of.
My dad was always a big story teller and as we cleared his possessions I discovered that like me he always dreamed of being a published writer. It was hard knowing that he would never accomplish that and he had run out of time. He was always incredibly proud of me and my books and I'm going to miss hearing his thoughts on my stories.
I wasn't expecting to say goodbye to him this year, I honestly thought that there would be lots of years and lots of feedback to come. He had plans, he was looking forward to the trout fishing season, he'd got his fishing licence organised and couldn't wait to get out and about up the Fife coast. He had weekends away with his partner and a holiday to visit old friends in the summer to look forward to as well as his work with the RNA (Royal Naval Association). He had a busy and full life and at 74 - one month before his 75th birthday it was cut short by a massive heart attack.
Now the only thing to do is start to get back to normal, sometimes I catch myself thinking I really must give dad a call and then my brain catches up and the emotion wells up again.
The best way I can think to honour him is by continuing to follow my ambitions and write more books and tell more stories.